3-6-09

It was one of those days. One of those days that just feels right. The kind that you want to capture the feeling in a jar like you captured fireflies when you were 7. And then you want to run that jar home and show everyone what's inside. But days like this, you know you can't capture the feeling in a way that you can show it to someone else. It's just a feeling you feel deep inside of you & it pours out from within so that maybe someone passing you on the sidewalk will catch a bit of it in your smile.

It's the warm cloudy day at the end of winter. A day where the sun breaks through every once in a glorious moment and when it does, it looks like Heaven is shining down. But it doesn't need to, because this is the kind of day that reminds you Heaven is on earth and all around you.

It's the shy little boy from Iraq who doesn't speak any English who you just helped enroll in school. You know he is terrified, but you are filled with hope for his future, even though you know it won't be easy.

It's eating lunch and reading your new poetry book that causes you to laugh out loud at parts and for tears to come to your eyes at other parts.

It's the cool clothes you found at the thrift stores that actually fit you. It's the 15 new records you bought to play on your new record player. It's the conversations you had with the women working at these thrift stores. It's the little girl sitting on a chair singing "Jesus Loves Me" in the Salvation Army as she waits for her grandma to finish shopping.

It's the girl on the back of her boyfriend's motorcycle who spreads her arms out as they ride so she feels like she's flying. It's the smile she gives you at the stop light because she can hear Michael Jackson pouring out of your open car windows.

It's going for a walk when you get home and passing the 8-year-old boy you made friends with last summer. It's you getting him to toss you the nerf football he's holding & him saying "Nice catch! I didn't know you could play football!" & you telling him you have a real football and that you'll play with him this summer.

It's dancing down the sidewalk to the song on your mp3 player.

It's your neighbor introducing you to her dogs, but you forgetting to ask her her name.

It's crossing the bridge over the interstate and waving to all the people going home from work during rush hour for the weekend.

It's smoking that cigarette you found in perfect tact on the floor in your living room after your last party.

It's taking pictures of random things.


It's looking at people through diner windows.

It's sitting on your porch swing at dusk & drinking a Blue Moon & being reminded of almost every Wednesday night last summer.

It's thinking of about 50 journal entries throughout the day and knowing you will never remember them the same way when you actually sit down to write.

It's listening to Cat Stevens on record while trying to show people the feeling you captured in a jar today.

10-8-08

Sometimes I pretend the neighbors' dogs are mine. Toshi came up on my porch the other evening and laid at my feet as I swung on the porch swing. Then I moved to the front step and he moved with me. I did this so I could pet him and I know he appreciated it because when I would stop petting him he would look at me and put his paw on my hand as if to say "Please don't stop."

10-4-08

I've talked about the neighbor boy who lived beside my two friends before, remember, the kid who tried to cook a raw sausage over a citrinella candle? One day my cousin was hanging out with me & we were up in my bedroom & I heard a noise, then I saw that boy, another boy, and a girl leaving my yard so I figured they had knocked & that was the noise I had heard. Later I saw the kids come back in my yard so went to see what they wanted. The noise I heard wasn't them knocking on my door. It was my porch swing hitting my house. The kids were pushing each other on it as hard as they could.

So we made some rules. Swinging was allowed as long as they did it properly & they knocked on the door and asked first. No swinging when no one was home. It took a little enforcing, but now we have a great set up. Every once in awhile there is a knock on my door & I see little heads peeking in the window. They ask to swing & then they do. I normally go out & hang out with them & talk with them. It's fun.

The other day there was loud hard knocking & the two boys' faces peeking in the window. My roomie, our friend, & I answered the door expecting to be asked if they could swing. Instead two excited, breathless little boys informed us that they were selling kool-aid down the street for 50 cents & asked if we wanted some. Of course we did! And when we told them this you'd think they had won the lottery. "They want some!" they shouted & then ran off to tell their other selling buddies. We got some money & then skipped to the kool-aid stand where pretty much every kid on our street was working to sell some kool-aid. We were informed that refills were free & they were selling koolaid to get money to be able to go to the Dairy Queen at the end of the street. Later that day we found out they made $13 & went to DQ.